A woman in midlife sees her friends making time for creative pursuits but can’t fit them into her own busy schedule and asks how to find time for creativity in midlife. Jessica offers ideas on ways to make the time and prioritize creativity as self-care.
Ask Jessica is an advice column for women in midlife. We cover all things related to midlife from changing bodies to career transitions to parenting teens to sandwich generation challenges to shifts in marital or life partnerships and everything in between. My hope is that in sharing these questions and answers I can women as we face the midlife journey together. Got a question or challenge you would like me to address? Fill out this form to submit your issue! Want to see the answers to other questions, check out our archive here.
How to Find Time for Creativity in Midlife
HEY JESSICA: I was talking the other day with a friend who, after many years, recently started painting again. I have another friend who joined a dance troupe. And I have a third friend who is constantly knitting amazing sweaters and socks and things. I used to be quite creative, but over the years lost that part of me as I focused on career, marriage, parenting, and caring for my aging parents. After seeing what all of these friends are doing, I realized that I would really like to get back into something creative, but with all of my daily obligations I just can’t figure out how to fit it in. What’s the secret? How do busy women at this stage of life find time for a creative outlet? ~Craving Creativity
DEAR CRAVING:
I love that you’ve realized that you want to find a way to bring some sort of creative expression back into your life! That’s so awesome! I totally understand that finding the time for a new hobby or activity can be a real challenge, but I’ve got some thoughts on how you can make it happen.
I want to start with what I think is actually the most important thing that you are going to need to do: change your mindset. From what you have described, it sounds like over the years you have prioritized the obligations of life and caring for others over your own needs and desires. This is incredibly common, but it doesn’t need to be this way and, really, shouldn’t be this way. Of course, caring for your loved ones is important, but so is caring for yourself. If you had a medical or mental health issue that needed to be dealt with, I would hope that you would make the time for that weekly trip to the physical therapist, mental health therapist, or whatever was necessary. Well, I want you to think of making the time for your creative expression as a necessity like those sorts of appointments would be. Why? Because, in reality, by honoring your need to engage in creative activities you will be taking an action that will help to reduce stress, which has a huge impact on both physical and mental health. So, as you can see, this as an important piece of your self-care.
And now, the practical. How do you make the time? Well, you are going to have to carve it out and also ask for help. The first step I would take is to sit down with your partner (if you’re partnered) and explain what you have realized and why you think it’s important for you to pursue. Then work together to identify some potential windows of time when you could do this – it could be one evening a week, one afternoon a weekend, or even first thing in the morning, if that’s when your creative juices are flowing. The point is to find a time when you can be off the clock and your partner can pick up the slack. If you aren’t partnered, and your kids are younger, then maybe you find a friend you could do a time swap with or ask a sibling. If your kids are older, then asking them to pitch in would be a great option, too!
If there are any specific tasks that someone else will need to take responsibility for during your creativity time, then you’re going to need to ask for someone to step in there as well. If asking for help is hard for you, then make sure to remind yourself that this is important for your health and well-being. If it’s still hard, then maybe for the first few weeks you can do some prep of some kind to make the task completion easier for them as they get used to this new routine, but eventually I hope that you will let go of that guilt, trust in your family’s ability to care for themselves for a few hours, and embrace your creative time. You deserve it!